The Ailing Heart

 

 

There’s so much that nothingness can do,

It can dig holes and dungeons inside of you.

The winds howl in the empty canals of your heart,

You miss how kindness smiled there,

Before it was broken apart.

You look at the same old beggar now,

You can’t feel his pain somehow.

You look at a girl stopping by,

Her eyes carrying a kind dye.

She took out a note kept with care,

She gave it to the old beggar as you stared.

You wonder what stopped you from stopping too,

You wonder what’s gotten inside of you

You miss how you would feel the pain of others,

It felt so real as if it’s you who have been bothered.

But now somehow you don’t feel the same,

You don’t know whom to blame.

The heart smells of grudges and disappointments,

You wonder if it can be fixed with any ointment.

Its walls are covered in lichen,

Heedlessness has made it blacken.

The sins that you did ‘following your heart’,

They have made your light depart.

Here, in a corner sits the trash of gheebah,

Yes, you have accumulated this museebah.

The dungeon echoes of the judgments that you made,

Not realizing it’s making your own light fade

The heart is ill, it has accumulated so much inside,

Hurt, tears, judgments, fears, obsessions, and pride

Where were you when they occupied your territory?

Where were your guards? Who let them into the sanctuary?

You cry to the sky admitting what’s gone wrong,

Looking for the Lord of Mercy to Whom you belong

Your eyes are set on the moon as clouds pass by,

Missing its light, your heart utters a silent sigh.

O, heart! you have indeed lost the bargain,

You traded the gleaming light for a deceptive gain.

Don’t despair for there’s some of it still left,

Through which you recognized this theft

Even in dullness, it made you realize that you are ill,

Made you smell the rotten grudges and look for a pill

Do not let despair add to your ugliness,

Be kind to yourself first to revive kindness

Don’t let the darkness kill you more,

Cry to your Lord for in it lies the cure

Protect yourself for you are a sacred amanah,

You are to be returned without any khiyanah.

May Al-Noor make your dimming light spark,

May He light every corner of you which was ever dark.